Jon Snow is my favourite character in Game of Thrones. In the “did not know where to put it scene”, he tells his friend that he did not want to risk having a child because he does not wish his life, the life of a bastard, on another human being.
For the longest time his view on fatherhood seemed to make sense to me. It seemed honourable. On a deeper level, it seemed to reflect some of my views on parenting and facing my own fears.
My biggest fear is not leaving anything meaningful to my kids. I started this blog to try and leave some important life lessons for them… and this post in particular is about facing your fears.
The link below describes a great process:
1. Identify your fear.
My dad has survived two completely different types of cancer. He is still strong and right now we are at his house for the New Year. I try my best to stay healthy but I really am afraid of having a kid and being an absent father due to illness. There is so much I want to share with them.
2. Visualize the outcome.
“What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail? What would that look like?” I would live to help my kids follow their dreams and reach the pinnacle in their endeavours, by giving them advice and offering inspiration based on personal experience. My wife with by my side, to tell me she is glad we decided to have kids.
3. Crush it.
The path to achievement starts with living healthier. Running and exercising more often. I just had my last glass of Coca Cola. No more soda in 2014! I also need to lose weight.
This year I went back to reading at the same rate I did back in College. I also went back to school and plan to further my education.
I am working on a side project to open a business with my wife (Princess Parties for Kids) and something I have in the back burner with two childhood friends (Publishing).
At any rate, this blog is my insurance policy. My kids will have the chance to read this and see my videos and hopefully understand that I may have left them early but I kept thinking about them before they were born.
4. Like Minded Conquerors.
The most important goal I have for 2014 is to find/create a Mastermind group. Finding like minded health nuts is easy, but once our side project is up and running I need to find small business owners and even non-published book authors.
This is important. My path is broken down in several steps and I have someone excellent join in the celebration: my wife Rebecca.
The first time I heard Jon say he did not wish his life on anyone else, I thought it really made a lot of sense. Circling back to what I said above, some couples I know decided not to have kids because of the high risks involved (illness in the family). Is that an honourable decision?
It is not my place to judge.
There is a big difference between the books and the HBO series, The Game of Thrones. In the books Jon is a 14 year old boy. He really does not know much about life yet… something that is brought up later in his storyline, “You know nothing, Jon Snow!”
Should I be afraid of having kids? Do I wish my life on my child?
My parents raised me well. I love my work. My wife is happy and that makes me extremely happy. Was there a lot of luck involved in my current outcome? I really want more for my kids, in part because I also want more for myself.
Big plans for 2014.
Happy New Year!!!!
I identify with this post because I too struggle with becoming a parent and not knowing what I have to pass on to my child. I’m 28 and still yet to get pregnant but am hoping to in the next year. In 2013 I had (what I wanted to be) my last Coca Cola in March and since then lost 10kgs. I drink it every now and again but have regained more control over my cravings now. The struggle I face when having children is to be able to show them that I love them enough, which is a scary doubt to have in the back of your mind.
Good luck with the weight loss, you can do it! Great blog. 🙂
I love your post, it gives me a warm and nice feeling, your kids would love you and if you loved them back that’s the pillar or happiness, and the more important thing they would need. Good luck with your path to healthiness and congratulations!